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Following a passionate beginning, expect a stormy relationship that includes accusations and anger, jealousy, bullying, control, and breakups due to the insecurity of the person with BPD. They fluctuate dramatically between idealizing and devaluing you and may suddenly and sporadically shift throughout the day. Their intense, labile emotions elevate you when they’re in good spirits and crush you when they’re not. If you’re on the outs with them, all their bad feelings get projected onto you.They can be vindictive and punish you with words, silence, or other manipulations, which can be very destructive to your self-esteem.They’re desperate to be loved and cared for, yet are hypervigilant for any real or imagined signs of rejection or abandonment.It is common for them to cut off relatives or friends who “betray” them.Caring about someone with borderline personality disorder (BPD) tosses you on a roller coaster ride from being loved and lauded to abandoned and bashed. You live in unbearable psychic pain most of the time, and in severe cases, on the border between reality and psychosis.
Before his heart has palpitated a dozen times, the part of him that loves to rescue and fix kicks in and he makes plans to remodel her house, buy her a car, pay for some plastic surgery, and take her on some cool vacations. She's charming as all get-out, and sex and attention are the bait. Hell-raiser and non-conformist, no matter her age, she's 17 for life. When she feels you're off your game you'll find her talking with someone else. They'll get pregnant and may want you to stick around and help raise the child, but most importantly, she'll appreciate the child support you'll be paying. Abandoned by her parents, she was raised in an orphanage where they forgot to feed her and boy is she hungry now - for you to support her.
Your energy for anything else, let alone your own fulfillment and self care, becomes dulled and displaced.
You may feel disoriented and hopeless much of the time.
She not only seems to make you the center of her attention, but she even craves listening to your opinions, thoughts and ideas.
It will seem like you have really found your heart's desire.